So I keep reminding myself that I am on the right path.....I am surrounded in room full of crystals, so I must be. Do we all do this? Question our paths or are we all to busy to ever just sit and wonder...am I happy on this path, my answer to this question is always a yes when I ask myself this. Well now it is, it never was.
I remember a time though when I never had the energy or time to ever think for myself and just went on, day to day in such a chaotic life no time to question whether I am happy, am I on the right path, is my family happy, am I doing the right thing for them, isn't it crazy until you really open up your mind and not be scared of asking yourself this, you will soon get an answer for yourself.
Take yourself to a place where you are most comfortable and breath in the fresh air and when you're ready ask yourself the question - the confronting answer will most likely scare you and put you in a position of not knowing what to do, but follow your heart and soul for you, it will be amazing how much your life will shift, your happiness is important, trust your answer to the question you need to ask yourself. Are you really truly happy and is your life spent doing the things you love?
The people that answer yes to this question will question their answer also, however believe in you answer, if you are truly happy, you enjoy that happiness and embrace life, congratulations you grabbed your path by the balls to enjoy your life!
Some of you may or may not know that a near death experience helped me find my path to happiness, but I hope this isn't something you have to experience to find yours. I was and still am full time mother to two children and a full time student, I also suffer from PCOS which is not a pleasant thing to have (this is a hormonal disorder with all sorts of symptoms attached YAY!) I was happy, but not quite there, constantly looking for the next best prescription or pill to give me energy, lose weight, be happy. Then low and behold something absolutely rare and shocking happened to me that I just kept getting on with life with not knowing what damage I had caused to my body, I didn't listen to my body - I had two kids on my own, right, so you just get on with it, exams, assignments, life! A life that I was not in tune with, a life where I was not happy, I was causing myself so much stress and for what?! For who?! ......I realise this now but I didn't then.
My children nearly lost a mother, the only parental support they have ever had or known, the one they cry to, the one they laugh with, the one they scream at when they've had a rough day, I didn't really care to much about dying at the time, but then it hit me hard, so, so hard.... my children.... the heart ache and trauma they would suffer, I knew my sister would love them like a mother but it wouldn't be the same for them as having their mummy.
When this bolt of lightning hit me it struck a very emotional cord - I was then sitting in the hospital screaming in despair and disbelief and anger at my specialist to fix me, my babies need me! However, it wasn't that simple......The doctors not really explaining the significance of the life threatening situation I was in as they hadn't seen to many cases like this before, really made me mad. I demanded a second opinion so I got one from the Director of Neurology at the Womens Royal Hospital. He had explained to my specialist that because of the severity of the damage and how close it is to my brain they would not touch me. No surgeon would...it was to risky.
After hearing this news the stroke specialist begins to tell me the medication I need to start to stay alive. I then spoke with my family over the phone about what could happen to me (worst case scenario) I felt like no one was taking me seriously because it was such a rare diagnosis they didn't understand. It was so frustrating.... trying to grieve my diagnosis and feeling so alone, so alone.
Through these times I had one of my greatest friends who has been a blessing to have come into my life, she has always supported me and helped me when I needed her....she was there. My mother there also taking care of my children and taking turns with my friend while I was in hospital.
I missed my children so, so much. After a couple of weeks in hospital (the longest I'd been away from my children) I couldn't do it anymore, I needed to hold them, listen to them talk my ears off, I was craving them, I felt like I had lost a limb without them. My specialist allowed me to walk out with a three inch tear in my main artery from my heart to my brain, the top of the tear was 3mm away from my brain stem, he told be to stay in bed for a while(haha I laughed also, anyone that knows me knows that is not possible as a single mother), don't drive, don't exercise, don't turn my head (not that I could my neck was paralysed for a good couple of months). This was hard to go home but I needed my children, of course they didn't understand properly, they cant jump on me, I cant lift them and miss out on the normal activities we'd do together.
After a few weeks of doing NOTHING with the help of my mother and friend being bossy and telling me to stop doing things (they probably saved me by doing this) I started exploring avenues on how to get my head on the right path and explore healthy avenues to my recovery. I already had a small collection of crystals and always loved them (it was in my famliy - jewellery and crystals) however looked at more and more of them and their healing properties.
I was desperate to get off my pain medications. I visited a few market stalls where Iive and met a lovely lady who shared some in site about Snowflake Obsidian and its healing properties. After my small purchase I put those tumbles straight into my bra and wore them non stop. I still wear them but in my zipper scrunchies now. It helped me recover, it changed my mind set, it helped me set new goals, gave me energy, motivation, and most of all my mind back.
I stopped taking my pain medication, my head was clear, my mind was focused I couldn't believe how much these crystals had helped me change my life. I wanted to help others, give information to others about the healing properties these crystals carry, help others recover mentally through the power of crystals. Help their blood flow freely throughout their body and soul.
I came across some lovely people in the crystal community that shared their stories with me and how the healing had a domino effect not only in our time but through ancient times and cultural rituals. The more and more I read the more and more I became intrigued, which brought me here today...to my happy place.
Nothing much in my life has changed, I am still in recovery and had a few scares and can no longer feel part of my arm or fingers or side of my face, and I have ended up back in hospital but my mind set has changed. I will defeat this, my life is important not only to my children but to me so I can help others, give to others, share this crystal community with others and the magical powers the crystals have.
The earth created plants and trees for healing which we use in our everyday products and they work, well the earth also created crystals for healing. Some are skeptical about the healing powers which is fine stay in your skeptical box, and embrace their beauty!
My life from the outside more than likely seems extremely boring to others but I am truly happy now, I have embraced my path, this is where I am meant to be.
I have fun with my babies, even if I don't take them on adventures every day, we might just be at home doing silly things with each other (don't get me wrong every day is NOT and I repeat NOT perfect, there are terrible 2 trantrums and 8 going on 16 over here, my children argue, I have to intervene, but that's parenthood right?).
I love being apart of the crystal community and sharing the knowledge with others and offering these amazing pieces I have discovered to others, not only do they have incredible benefits but they look stunningly beautiful and each one unique in their way.
So here I am today with my crystal business, my children (some are now my crystals), and my studies. I am genuine, I am real, I dont walk around covered in my crystals and pretend to be someone I am not, the crystals do not define who I am, I will find sincerely find the right crystal for you if you are unsure, if you need to know more about healing crystals I will help you, if I don't know something I will tell you, but I will always do my best to find the answer to your question.
So I have found my happy in helping others, giving to others which is the path I have chosen.
Find your happy it really is the best feeling, wishing you all the best in finding your happy path, or already being on your happy path, good on you! If there is anything I can do to help you on your path please give me a shout out, I am happily open to talking anytime!
Love, light, happiness and healing to you all thank you for reading my first personal blog.
Jaz xoxo
